“You need to accept delayed gratification to be a writer. You need a strong discipline.”
Their augment: “It will be a while before you see any kinds of results.”
Does this sound like anything you have ever heard before?
While it’s true, the results are far out in the future, and you have to live with the delayed gratification of reaching the pinnacle goal. The sense of reward shouldn’t be delayed.
I understand if this keeps you from writing or at least committing 100% to writing.
I mean, if you believe you have to delay your gratification and it keeps you from committing 100% to writing, then I have got good news.
Because it’s absolutely not true.
There are plenty of rewards along your journey, you just need to see them.
Let’s remove the focus from the negative, reverse it, and put it on the things that’ll actually keep you going. Let’s remove the light from the useless things and shrine it on the elephant in the room.
Here’s some insight into gratification and what you can do to shrine despite seeing your goal at the end of a year long tunnel.
What exactly is gratification
I’ve bit at the bad apple for about 3 months. My story is still in a sad looking state and don’t know what to do. I thought I was getting better, but every time I open the document, everything inside of me convulse. A knot turned massive stone, weighing me down to the point where I have no idea why it always was that.
What am I supposed to do to make this work? The thought consumes my mind. I enjoy writing, but my mind sees writing like jumping through fire. I sit down willingly, write with passion and feel happier when I close the document for the day.
But why is this so?
“The powerless, but overwhelming feeling have a name,” I discovered. Gratification. The name makes the hair inside my ears stand. Yet I had never heard of it before, but its powers proved to be stronger than any passion I ever had. But I’m happy I decided to keep going.
It’s you against you
Gratification, or the reward of your labour, is a heavy part of writing.
For the most part it’s the amazing feeling you get when you know you are doing a great job. If you give your work to a friend or family member, and they tell you that it’s great, you get this warm feeling inside.
It’s both a physically and mentally pad on the back. It’s a sign you’re on the right track and aren’t wasting your time.
But in writing, it’s you against you. It’s the future you expect for yourself once your book against the reality that you are currently live in. The reality that you have to put in hours of hard work for an unknown future.
You write, put your heart into your craft, but you have nothing to show for it. Of course you can’t always get the things you want. But there’s something missing and that’s why people tend to tell you that writing is difficult.
The gratification powers are strong and before you know it, you could be hanging out with your friends, scrolling social medias, or doing something completely different just because it’s easier.
But just like with any situation, this is where it’s critical to keep an eye out for the goal you have set for yourself.
And if you’re like me and enjoy the writing. You enjoy the process, and everything included, then you’ll need to convince your brain you have no issue putting in the time until an invisible hand reaches down, smiles at you and says: “I have seen your effort, name your price and it’s yours.”
Be your own biggest fan
And this is the thing about writing. It’s not as easy to come by, because if you hand over a couple of pages you might hear: This is good.
You know the words are sincere, but they don’t fulfill your need. If only they knew how much work, you put in for those 6 pages.
But you can’t be mad at them.
In fact, you’re grateful for them. What you’re mad at is the fact you still have months of work left and you won’t get the fulfilling feedback and reward before you are done.
That’s when things start to go down hill. It’s the exact reason why you need to be your own biggest fan.
You need to bring your own rewards and celebrate the small victories.
Because while the finished product gets all the frame, there’s so much to priority along the way, you just need to find them and therefore, it requires some mental adaptation.
It’s time to find another best friend.
You need to find another best friend
I placed my story at the back of the shelve, leaned against my table and took a hard long look at it. I knew I wanted to finish it, but I couldn’t find out how. The doubt pushed me to go experience life and I went on an extended trip to Asia and Oceania for 5 weeks. It was refreshing and provided a much-needed new perspective and as I came back home, I was ready to conquer the work again.
“I need to enjoy the journey” – My realization after the 5 weeks magically disappeared.
It’s such a cliché, but truer words couldn’t be spoken. I thought, knowing I needed to find a way to enjoy the journey. “This will take time and before you are going to accept this, the harder you are making it for yourself.”
It was an uncomfortable thought, but the alternative wasn’t something I could accept. I had already spent about 100 hours, and I wasn’t about to just let it disappear.
A dream and a passion
Writing is you sitting at a screen, keyboard in front of you. A dream in your head and passion spreading through your body.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Sadly, people heavily underestimate what’s needed to succeed and overestimate what’s not.
And that’s why, once you start to write, you need to find something that’ll help you stay the course. Something that’ll give you the gratification you’re looking for and that’ll make you enjoy the journey.
I recommend you look for elements in your writing that you want to improve, think is exciting or anything that sparks a fire inside of you.
By pulling your focus from the end goal and shrine the light on improving as a writer, chasing the exciting things or breathing life into the fire inside, then you are able to feel the reward daily.
Whenever I write, I enjoy it like a perfectly tailored addiction.
I know it might be terrifying to switch your best friend out, but pull out a page from 5-year-old you’s book. Because just like when you were 5-year-old and changed your best friend from day to day. It wasn’t a problem.
And it still isn’t.
It’s a natural thing you need to allow if you want to make your way through this massive project.
Your end goal is like your family: It’ll always be there
“But what about the end goal?”
You don’t worry about the end goal. It’ll always be there.
Your end goal’ll be there through you setting up a habit of writing daily and help motivate you to work while you stick to your plan.
And as you finish the 80.000 words draft and feel the massive accomplishment, you’ll see: it’s still there.
Because the sole reason for your end goal’s existence is to help you stay on track.
You need to pay before you can have fun
With my new weapon in hand. I felt ready to conquer the world. I grabbed my novel off the shelve, blew the dust off and got to work. It was the time of my life: A new experience and outlook on the project, meant I shot right through every barrier life tried to throw at my writing.
I finished the draft once more. Felt happy, but there was still something.
I looked through it and I still didn’t feel the excitement I thought. The excitement I promised myself. It was an absolute mess. I felt betrayed.
Fast forward 4 months later.
I’m sitting here, currently at the 4th draft of my novel and I can’t help but laugh at my own naivety. I thought everything would be solved because I discovered I needed to find something to help me enjoy the journey. While that in fact was true, I completely misunderstood the lesson.
Because I kept on growing and each time I finished a month of working, I felt nowhere near my end goal. But I felt I got better and last week, I finally cracked the case.
My end goal is where it has always been. It’s at the end. But the journey is a dynamically thing. It expands: grows and shrink.
And as I go through my work, I constantly keep finding things I don’t like and all this time I have had my attention the wrong place. Instead of keeping up towards the goal, I needed to look down the steps and give myself a pad on the back for work I had put in. Because damn I have come a long way.
Writing is a game with a heavy price
I don’t know how to tell you this, but writing is like a game. An expensive game.
And you need to pay before you can have the fun.
But luckily, this isn’t part of some bad economy. The currency isn’t money. It’s your time and discipline.
I know this might be scary, but identify the elements that’ll make your journey more fun and help you prove, and you’ll realize that the buy-in price is nothing.
It’ll in fact turn into something you are happy to pay, as you get to sit down and write with a smile on your face.
Gratification is now, improvements are forever
Gratification is a bitch.
I have my weekly struggle with it, but I don’t fear it. It’s just a weekly reminder I’m on the right path to reach my end goal.
And you should take it the same way.
Just find some elements to enjoy along the way: have fun, experiment and improve, then you’ll reach your end goal a completely different writer than you started out with.
But and I mean this in the most positive way possible: In the end, whatever end goal you have, it’ll pale in comparison to your journey there.
That’s a wrap for you today.
Until next time – Hope you have a productive and creative day.
Your writing buddy,
Jack